Nervous Dater Gifts

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

'Bob smiled awkwardly'

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Sexual chemistry set

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Waterfall of Disappointment

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Spud dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Nethead strip: Dates

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"