Awkward Dater Gifts

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Sorry I took so long. I went to the bathroom, tried climbing out the window, and got stuck."

Nethead strip: Dates

"I can't let you in Dave, you make mum's stomach turn."

"Hang on, I only asked you if you had any protection."

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Steve thought the date was going rather well..

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'Look! Lots of people use a toothpick after dinner.'

'Sis! It's the man who can do every bird imitation - except migrate...'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

A man and a woman on a date have a fish head and tail for dinner.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm mildly amused by your condition."

The cutest lady I've ever seen in my life just walked in. The Love Doctor's on a break. That's ok, I don't need advice. I think I'll just ask her out on my own. Good for you, little buddy! Yeah, I'm thinking of staring at her a little too long, and then mumbling my name to her ... and then nature will take its course. The Love Doctor will see you now.

"I'm not proposing marriage, but I'm not ruling it out, either."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."