Nerve Conqueror Gifts

"I hope you're not nervous."

Rage.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

Crop duster wanted.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

A Learning Curve.

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

Computer Gamers.

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

The Vaccine is coming!

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

Learning to deal with road rage is really hard when the stupid therapist keeps cutting you off.

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

Tandem Mountain Bike/Gnarly Stump.

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'

Law Judge playing video game called 'Call of Jury Duty II'.

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

'Sorry, sir, but every cloud has a turbulent lining.'

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

I'm going to sports camp this summer. Same. Tap tap tap. My parents think it'll help me make varsity. That'll get me into college. Same. Tap tap tap tap tap. Got him! Nice move. Too bad we can't letter in video games.

"How's your blogging going?"