Neighborhood Star Gifts

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Autumn Leaves

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

"I'm Bob and this is my wife, Sue. Don't even think about trying to get past us."

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

'Can Spot come out and play?'