Neighborhood Hero Gifts

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'So you're the originator of the neighborhood crime watch.'

Community Policeman

Hello, I'm in your neighborhood to raise for awareness for

Hello. I'm in your neighborhood to raise awareness for

"It was a nice neighborhood until they got into the water-management business."

"At first I wasn't to happy about going out in a one-man patrol car."

With gas at three bucks a gallon, Eva felt that the neighbor kids should pay their share.

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

"I wonder if Eminem would like to come and have a go at our neighbours..."

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Thank you, Essential Workers

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Think globally. Act locally.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'

Yesterday you lost your sheep and suddenly, today, Mary next door has a little lamb... Pretty big coincidence is all I'm sayin'.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"