Neighborhood Sentinel Gifts

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Dog says hi to a cat.

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Suburban street.

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"The neighbors' place is a pig sty! Why can't we have something like that?"

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

The Motherhood

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'Phase Two : More of the same'

'We video all these trick or treat transactions...for security reasons.'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

Robinia Floribunda

'The neigborhood's best watchdog!'

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

Interrupted Shower.

'Yes...in retrospect I DO regret not protesting against the new by-pass'

'I see bloodshed at No.23,Mrs.Higgs at 34 has told her husband,Mrs.Blake at 42 is threatening to tell....'

'Don't you hate it when your neighbor gets a new 'lectric drill?'

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."