Neighborhood Narrator Gifts

'Sometimes I just can't believe what's not happening to me.'

Kenwood Park

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'I Love mine - it gossips about the neighbours.'

'I don't repeat gossip. I start it.'

'I wouldn't trust Sheila with a secret - She'd forget to pass it on!'

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

Progress.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

Autumn Leaves

The Burbs

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Sketchy Neighborhood

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'