Neighborhood Narrator Gifts

'Sometimes I just can't believe what's not happening to me.'

Kenwood Park

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'I Love mine - it gossips about the neighbours.'

'I don't repeat gossip. I start it.'

'I wouldn't trust Sheila with a secret - She'd forget to pass it on!'

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

Progress.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Autumn Leaves

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

The Burbs

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

It was a nice neighborhood untill the A-holes moved in.

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'