Neighborhood Qb Gifts

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

$1: Family Secrets

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."