Neighborhood Qb Gifts

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

Interrupted Shower.

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

Snow Plowing

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'Can Spot come out and play?'