Neighborhood Navigators Gifts

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Tommy!"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

The stages of gentrification: a guide

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Hi. Can Billy play some football?"

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'It's a great, safe neighbourhood: The owner of the house is allergic to cats...'

The Burbs

We love the diversity of the neighborhood.

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

It's great, but you never want to buy the best house in the neighborhood. For sale.

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

Town follows the snow plough.

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Mountain Bike tracks.

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

How very Balham!

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

"Between the price of a comic book and having to pay the bully down the street not to beat me up, my allowance is spent the same day I get it!"

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'Sure it's a safe neighbourhood: Perfect for raising a family...'

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

"What's so funny? She had to go!!"