Neighborhood Mixer Gifts

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'John... is that a collar?'

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

'Are you a good mixer?'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Snow Plowing

Blower wars.

Two roads diverged in a wood estates.

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

Clancy:Survey Question

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'