Neighborhood Mediator Gifts

'Did we do something to upset the neighbors?'

'Normally I'd be optimistic that we could work out a little problem like this.'

Blower wars.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Cat and Broom

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'John... is that a collar?'

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Yes...in retrospect I DO regret not protesting against the new by-pass'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Racism Has A Short Fuse.

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

Picking overhanging fruit.

'My little boy made the sign!'

"Today on ask Sadie, I'll be address oe single question...why do so many people who have no business raising kids, have kids..."

Noah the neighbor

'We wondered if your mother might be interested in taking charge of our new neighbourhood watch scheme.'

"Neighbourhood Watch are recruiting again, Carol."