Schoolyard Mediator Gifts

"Face it Tyler, you're going to have to walk back those comments about Andrew's mom."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Changing Minds

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Will eat your homework for $.

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

Interfaith dialogue

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'Knock it off. That's just the kind of backward thinking I was talking about.'

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'The details of the company's new management plan are being worked out.'

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!