Neighborhood Gathering Gifts

'John... is that a collar?'

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Suburban street.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

One giant bark for dogkind.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"What's it gonna take for all of us to eat together like a family?"

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

Robinia Floribunda

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Interrupted Shower.

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

How does she get her grass so green?