Neighbourhood Gathering Gifts

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Suburban street.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

"What's it gonna take for all of us to eat together like a family?"

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'John... is that a collar?'

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

'Yes, I live on the third floor, but I am unaware of any howling sounds at night.'