Neighborhood Party Gifts

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'John... is that a collar?'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Interrupted Shower.

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

Snow Plowing

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

How does she get her grass so green?

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."