Annual Neighborhood Party Gifts

The Week-Long Party Catering Co.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Absent friends!'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

'John... is that a collar?'

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

"This is the worst parade ever."

Snow Plowing

How does she get her grass so green?

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Steve and Sue, clean up after your mutt or else!"

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

'We're selling videos of the wild wild neighborhood party. . .'

'The neighbourhood Watch Scheme!' "Damn, his roses are doing much better than mine"

"Looks like there's a storm moving in."