Neighborhood Conversationalist Gifts

"We had hail last night the size of..........hail!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

One giant bark for dogkind.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'Dog got your clog?'

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

The Burbs

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

It was a nice neighborhood untill the A-holes moved in.

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

This is Bad Feng Shui!

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

'This looks like a really hot piece of gossip, Edna!'

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

Passive smoking...

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'