Neighborhood Chatter Gifts

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Where are you off to then Phil?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Dog got your clog?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'John... is that a collar?'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

The Burbs

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

'This looks like a really hot piece of gossip, Edna!'

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'

"I've never known anyone as nosey as you."

'Is your sore throat stopping you from keeping up with the neighbourhood barking frenzy? Try Auto-bark! It will mimic your bark to keep up with the big dogs, long after you've stopped.'

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions