Neighborhood Gossip Gifts

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

'That reminds me, how is that husband of yours?'

'Lost your lawnmower, old man?'

'That's my neighbor. He's up all night watching tv or talking to his sister on the phone. He's such a busy body, I wish he'd mind his own business.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'The neighbourhood Watch Scheme!' "Damn, his roses are doing much better than mine"

'That's it now, Mrs. Baines - see you in the New Year!'

'Is your sore throat stopping you from keeping up with the neighbourhood barking frenzy? Try Auto-bark! It will mimic your bark to keep up with the big dogs, long after you've stopped.'

"I've never known anyone as nosey as you."

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'

'We're selling videos of the wild wild neighborhood party. . .'

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'

Enemies of Bill W. Pub

Can we have our ball back please?

Bird house envy.

"I always thought it was over the fence gossip, not insider trading."