Neighbor With A Dog Gifts

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"He ran out of pee."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'They're dog roses!'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

Fetching some fuel.

Dog Sees Only Food

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

When Dogs Rule

'No need to shout.'

Dog's game

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

Autumn Dog

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.