Dog-owning Neighbor Gifts

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

$1: Family Secrets

Cats on Board.

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"He ran out of pee."

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'Be careful what you say around Marjorie...'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'Want to have a snowball fight?'

"Let me through, I'm a busybody."

Pavlov's neighbor gets a wind chime.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'Next please.'

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."

Bloke trimming hedge to look like neighbour/wife.

I hate jacuzzi day.

Computer games you can play with your dog: Disk toss.

Nice to see you!