Dog-owning Neighbor Mugs

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

$1: Family Secrets

Cats on Board.

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"He ran out of pee."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

'Be careful what you say around Marjorie...'

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

"Let me through, I'm a busybody."

'Want to have a snowball fight?'

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Pavlov's neighbor gets a wind chime.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

'Next please.'

Bloke trimming hedge to look like neighbour/wife.

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."

Nice to see you!

I hate jacuzzi day.