Neglected Nook Explorer Gifts

"Somehow, somewhere along the line, this town lost its pride."

"You're fired."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Perhaps Sallie had made her bookshop too comfortable'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Book Me!

Be open to help.

So … how did you two meet?

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

The first transatlantic communication.

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

Inbox and outbox for books

Man walking his pet crocodile and a cross section of both brains is visible.

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Shipwrecked.

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

Unnatural History Museum

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

Distilled Elephant

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

No caption. (Fish emerges from water and sees another fish offering towels.)

A European Nightjar in the form of a Jar

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

Sign Post at the Zoo Reads:'Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Oh-My.'