Neglected Nook Explorer T-Shirts

"Somehow, somewhere along the line, this town lost its pride."

"You're fired."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Perhaps Sallie had made her bookshop too comfortable'

Book Me!

Be open to help.

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

Inbox and outbox for books

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

Unnatural History Museum

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Shipwrecked.

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

A European Nightjar in the form of a Jar

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

Distilled Elephant

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Sign Post at the Zoo Reads:'Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Oh-My.'

"If any place is open at this hour. I need to pick up something from the 19th century."