Novel Nook Enthusiast Gifts

Avid readers of unputdownable best sellers can now have their books surgically removed from their hands.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Perhaps Sallie had made her bookshop too comfortable'

My Literary Influences

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Book Me!

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

I just reread a great book I downloaded from Amazon about five years ago. You rekindled an old relationship!

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Is this your first book launch?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Library

Theodore Dreiser.

Voltaire