Needlepoint Ninja Gifts

Zorro repairs his trousers.

Self help acupuncture

I quilt therefore I am

Tool Box

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Piano Keyboard

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Coronavirus world

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

Knitted Kitty.

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Flute-a-licious.

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

"Numb yet?"

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

"I've asked you repeatedly not to startle me when I'm working!"

Maid with her sewing basket

Multitasking

Bridge Repairs

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"I can quit whenever I want to."

Must... Remember...

'This is our home's communications center.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

"He writes all the time - OK, so it's mostly in the margins of library books. . ."

"What?! I put a post-it on a place you couldn't miss!"