Ncaa Gifts

"Sorry, Kevin, but 'March Madness' is not an official school holiday."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until March Madness is over before turning off my electricity?'

College Football

Go team!

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Cheerleaders

World Hunger Conference.

Lost Season

The Giamatti era

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

Tax What?!

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Coach Prime Cleans House

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'Ring around the rosey ...'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

It's the start of March Madness basketball and this game is tied with seconds to go! I wonder who the hero will be? The nucleus is playing center, but he's been stopped by the defense of the bad cholesterol, who's clogging up the middle! The flu vaccine is the leading scorer. He never passes up a shot! Now the double-x chromosomes are asking the coach to put him in. Of course, the biological clock is running out!

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."