Naval Nerd Gifts

Hydrofoil wing boat.

Sub Editor

"Houston, we have a problem."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

The Dubloon Stops Here

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

When laundry ruled the waves.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

Battery Lighthouse

Pirate

Lost around a military base.

Recalculating!

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

Pirate eye test

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

COWMIKAZES

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"