Nautical Narcissist Gifts

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Emergency Phone.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

Pirate

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Battery Lighthouse

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

Pirate School: 'Today mateys we are going to study the three aarrrsss.'

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

Pirate eye test

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"