Nautical Irony Lover Gifts

Rescued by the Grim Reaper.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"