Naturist Comedy Fans Gifts

Nudist Tortoise

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Cat box"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Penguin

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Possums that ski.

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

Buck Naked

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Alligator Bars

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

"They're especially bold at this time of year."