Naturist Humor Gifts

Dirty Old Man

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'He must be one of those nudists.'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Try me/try me/try me...

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Get out of my face!"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Pray for me.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Slug Bait- snails love it

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Just a little seasoning...

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

'Still no sign of life.'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

'My dentist recommended it.'