National Worrywarts Gifts

"You can't dismiss the crushing burden of our national debt just because you don't have kids!"

Nervous Oral Testing

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Don't be afraid if you see a Martian. There's no such thing."

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

"Trust me: It's benign."

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'

"Have you got anything to stop me worrying about my pharmaceutical shares?"

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'I think I left the iron on.'

'Well, this'll probably knock climate change off as my number one worry.'

When you get worried and you can't sleep. . .

'This compulsion to check you've always locked you can door...how long have you...?

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.