Mythical Story Fan Gifts

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

"I have no idea what you are babbling about, and why aren't you working on the tower."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Swiss army knife

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Hot Tub Frosty

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Going Down?

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

Europa takes a selfie

"He's So Your Type."

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

Viking River Raids

"I dropped my goblet!"

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."