Museum Nerd Gifts

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I think he was a celebrity."

Culture Saturday

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Party Animals.

"Why don't you find a museum!"

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

The Other Cooperstown

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Raphael

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

I love Museum Shops

Dinosaur skeleton being used as a bike rack

Rodin's THE FEELER

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Hall of great inventors.

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

The Thinker and the Doer.

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"