Museum Maniac Gifts

'Dinosaur museum,soccer pundit exhibit.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Showbiz Awards

"I think he was a celebrity."

Party Animals.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

The Other Cooperstown

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Raphael

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

Three Ladies

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Dinosaur skeleton being used as a bike rack

Rodin's THE FEELER

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

The Work-from-Home-Polka

Hall of great inventors.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Free-Floating Anxiety

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

Closed for Renovation

Whale Piñata.

'No, I didn't growl. Did you roar?'

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."