Museomaniac Gifts

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Three Ladies

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Free-Floating Anxiety

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

Living with a cataholic.

Muzak's Top 10

"...My daughter, the model..."

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Music Freak.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Rock & Roll

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Love Hurts

Clinton's book promotion: "Even if just his old girlfriends buy it, we'll make millions."

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

cat singing into microphone

'Pierre...It's garbage night!'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."