Museum Buff Gifts

'Probably would have tasted like chicken.'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

Football Sculpture.

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

An a ulence towing the The Venus de Milo

"I think this may be a fake."

"I much prefer his earlier work."

'I think they're old phones...from from when people used to just talk into them.'

'My battery's out - I'll phone you from the museum.'

'I've always wanted to enter the Turner Prize.' - 'Burp!' - 'Okay, great. Now I just need a title...'

Escher Exhibition

Dinosaur skeleton with a cocktail glass.

"They have extraordinary taste."

Madame Tussauds - "Dr Shipman's arrived"

Percentage artwork

'We have temporarily lost our picture.' 'Still Life of a TV Set.'

Another Famous 'First Meeting:' Monet and Manet.

...In reality the place is heaving with tourists

Dr. Rashid Zeineh - Inventor of stealth technology.

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

Science Museum. Look at the animals that hatch from eggs. They're all from broken homes?

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Bond James, Bond."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality