Museum Enthusiast Gifts

"This particular species is believed to have travelled in troupes."

Queen Silvia Bernadotte

Welcome to the British Museum...

"Makes me want to draw up some districts of my own."

Wax Museum - Please do not touch the thermostat.

'Cheer up Don! Everybody starts at the bottom.'

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

"Why didn't the artist just change her smile in the computer?"

'Please do not touch' signs all over a museum. The guard has a 'please touch' above her.

"No, we won't take Greek relic instead!"

'Museums are a lot like flea markets...except nothing's for sale.'

Vote Jones - the last low budget political campaign.

"Now can we have an eating experience?"

Arnhem Drop

"If we go next door there's a 'bobby on the beat'."

Tourist sucker hall of fame

Freud.

Man in art gallery looking at mouse hole with small pictures also hanging on wall.

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

Poster adverting an exhibition from 'the very important' to 'some old tut..'

'I remember when you could see these all over the place.'

Pull my finger.

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

"Is that where you live, Grandad?"

Return the Elgin marbles to Elgin!

"I just worry that it's affecting our work."

The Last Smoker

"Miss, did you order the small fiery Hawaiian with Fauve influences?"

"And you can also see Rodin's lesser-known 'The Watcha Thinkin Bout-er'."

"I thought you liked museum reproductions."

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

"It's museum-store quality."

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

A teacher wrangles children in a museum with a rope and stanchions.