Museum Aficionados Gifts

'Books-medals-statues, complete skeleton of St. Pretorius'

You're my Mona Lisa.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

The Artist

"I think he was a celebrity."

Culture Saturday

Party Animals.

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

The Other Cooperstown

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Raphael

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

I love Museum Shops

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Dinosaur skeleton being used as a bike rack

Rodin's THE FEELER

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

Thomas Keneally

Hall of great inventors.

Easter Candy Island.