Museum Aficionado Gifts

"I remember when you could see these all over the place..." "Can we go and see the nurse now?"

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

A diamond robbery goes wrong when the hook catches the sleeping museum guard's hat

"Many of the dioramas were completely renovated in the '70's."

The Other Cooperstown

History of Government Shutdowns Museum

Museums frantically adjust to the latest scientific bombshell.

The Three Branches of Government. Legislative. Judicial. Executive. These days the separation of powers just means they go the separate corners between rounds.

Famous Paintings Updated for 2020. It's "The Scream." Even with a mask, you can still hear somebody scream. That's a bandana. Missing an ear, Van Gogh can't wear a mask. That seems unnecessary. There's nobody within miles of them. There should be an exception for Mona Lisa. She's just not the same without that mysterious smile.

"'Oil and acrylic on canvas, but may also contain traces of peanut.'"

"I don't think this is bringing back the coal industry."

'Beret Night at the Museum'

Bobby's budding feces collection,

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

''To forever commemorate this glorious victory I command on this very site the building of a magnificent gift shop.''

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"I think he was a celebrity."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Party Animals.

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Culture Saturday

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast