Museum Escapist Gifts

'Instead of going to that boring museum for a class trip, I suggest we go to the World Series of Poker. I'm sure the rest of the class won't mind.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Tree house.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"Not again!"

Your library book is overdue.

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

American Idle

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.