Museum Escapist Pillows

'Instead of going to that boring museum for a class trip, I suggest we go to the World Series of Poker. I'm sure the rest of the class won't mind.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Tree house.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"Not again!"

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

Your library book is overdue.

American Idle

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.