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'Jack the Ripper as a child.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Police film evidence

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Truman Capote

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

The Raven - The Study at Night

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC