Murder Mystery Fanatic T-Shirts

"Was the coroner able to establish the cause of death constable?"

Duck or Grouse

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Truman Capote

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Bribery and Corruption.

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

"It was me who did it!"

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

We really have to stop letting him watch the news.

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

"I'll have the roasted chicken. Make it look like an accident."