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Rocky Road, Private Eye

'You're going to meet a tall, dark stranger.'

"Is there an alternate ending?"

'I suppose it's too late to ask to see some sort of identification?'

"Check with our legal people if we can publish a detective story in which the murderer turns out to be the author."

Balloon Thrill Ride

Kidnap victim is in truck of crash test car.

'I'm getting the feeling you want a refund. But why? Let me consult my ball...'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'The door is to your left, sir. That's a closet...'

"Tell me about yourself. I work mainly by extrapolation."

Are we in a recession?

3 Guys Stealing

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Police appeal for information whilst thugs appeal for silence.

Looks like he taunted the wrong guy.

'We COULD bust him for every non-forced illegal entry in the district...or is that just too darn easy?'

Arthur Conan Doyle, MD, observes a passerby who has touch stains on his fingers, paint on his trousers and plaster on his jacket, and quickly deduces the man is a slob.

"Where were you between five and six?"

"If it goes without saying, why all the insistence that I actually say it?"

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

"Boss, he's alive!"

"The planning was meticulous, the execution was flawless. Henry would've got away with it, if he hadn't tried to claim the ice pick as an essential work expense.

Department of Criminology

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

'As you can see, we have bigfoot sightings all over our area...Folks, he's real! And he could be hiding right under our noses...'

"I thought we agreed I was the bad cop this week."

Chalk outlines.

Stolen Identity.

Black Forest Collectibles.

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Discovery of Crime Waves.

'Criminal mastermind.'

"Mind if we have a word, Sir?"