Mystery Novel Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"That'll be twenty dollars for the new pull-starter on your lawn mower, and two hundred for the overhaul of the trial scene in your mystery novel."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Channelling on the Cheap

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.