Mri Survivor Gifts

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Gary turns 40.

Barbeque Casualty.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Time for your pills.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Sporting maladies.

'You've got a broken finger.'

Tax grab.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

Sling

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."