Surgery Survivors Gifts

"It's just till the vasectomy heals."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

En garde!

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'