Trauma Survivor Gifts

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

When Caregiving for Alzheimer's Is Coupled with a History of Child Abuse

Too soon?

Gary turns 40.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Sporting maladies.

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'You've got a broken finger.'

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

The rotator cuff fairy.

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

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